After almost 30 years as a litigation attorney, who has handled thousands of contested family law cases, I have come to realize that when you have a trial even if you “win” it often feels like you “lost.” The truth seems to be that nobody wins a divorce trial.

I have noticed that contested divorces are becoming increasingly expensive and seem to go on forever. The conflict, cost, and delay can be hard on you and your family. My goal is to try and reduce that cost and turmoil.

Mediation is not a place to hire a neutral mediator to tell the other party that they are wrong. As the attorney mediator I cannot take one side over the other. My role is to assist the parties to reach a resolution, but I cannot tell the parties what to do. Remember, this is your case, and you know your life and what is best for your family better than anyone else.

I often tell clients, the courthouse is a strange place, up is down, left is right and two plus two does not always equal four. What this means, is the court may look at you and your case much differently than you see yourself or your case. That is the scary part about going to court, there is a lot of uncertainty, and a stranger is making a decision that will affect you and the rest of your life. Mediation is a process that can allow you to develop a resolution that you can live with.

A normal concern for everyone when they are considering a divorce is how long it will take and how much this will cost. In litigation, these choices are frequently out of your control once the divorce is filed. In mediation you and your spouse control how long the process takes and how much it costs.

The traditional approach to family law in Wisconsin may take one of two paths. Following the first path the parties do not hire an attorney and try to do everything themselves. The burden of doing everything falls on the parties. They must follow the court procedures and complete the court forms without any assistance from a professional. In the end, they hope what they did is correct and they get the results they wanted. Following the second path, the parties each hire an attorney. The attorneys then represent one of the parties. The attorneys then file documents, collect information and complete forms. These services are not free. The attorney charges for everything they do on the file. Some attorneys charge you for photocopies, stamps, emails, phone calls and the like. These attorneys meet with you when they can fit you into their calendar. The same holds true for court appearances, you do not get to go to court unless both attorneys and the court official are available. This increases costs and delays.

A new way to approach family law, mediation, allows the parties to try a middle ground approach. The mediator attorney will educate the parties, discuss solutions, and draft pleadings and documents. This is not a go it alone situation but it does put some burden on the participants. Each party must communicate with each other and the mediator. Each party must provide financial information. And most importantly, the parties must participate in the process. But, if the parties can put aside the hurt and desire not to speak to the other side again, the process can move along quickly and effectively. While it asks more of you as a person, it also give you more control over the case.

Mediation: An option to reduce conflict and reduce costs. One neutral-attorney-mediator is less expensive than two parties retaining attorneys.

Is a process that allows the parties to navigate the court process without having to pay expensive attorney fees and costs. There is a choice between hiring two attorneys and going in alone.

The kitchen table is not always the best place to resolve child and financial issues.

In family law, the best legal interests of the children are of paramount importance. Every parent thinks that what that parent wants is in the best interest of the child. So does the other parent. The question then becomes how to address this difference of opinion? Mediation is designed to address this problem and facilitates the parties to problem solve a solution to this important issue.